


Dan and Phil Make 'Food Stew' - The Howlter Family Edition

by gerardopoly



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Baking, Chefs, Cooking, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, Kid Fic, M/M, Phanfiction, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, YouTube, literally this is all it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 07:24:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4868204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gerardopoly/pseuds/gerardopoly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan and Phil feature their son Dil in a special episode of their "baking" series. They both had thought it would be a great way to display their relationship as a family on film, and a way to change their content up a bit. However, the roles are switched around when the couple play the sous chefs, and their son, as the head chef. Come on down and learn to make the perfect 'food stew' on this special episode of cooking with Dan and Phil (+ Dil).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dan and Phil Make 'Food Stew' - The Howlter Family Edition

**Author's Note:**

> Today, the 24th of September, marks one year since Dan and Phil introduced Dil Howlter to their gaming channel.  
> I wrote this to celebrate! Happy 1st Birthday, DIl.
> 
> This work is heavily based on Misha Collins' series of "Cooking Fast and Fresh with West"  
> Thank you, Misha.

Phil was struggling to hold the pile of camera equipment in his arms to save him another trip back upstairs. It wasn’t that he was lazy – okay, well maybe he sort of was at times – he just couldn’t be bothered to make his rounds back and forth.

 Dan, Phil, and their son Dil were going to be filming a special “baking” (really, it was more like cooking) episode that nobody had been expecting, especially when they created the episodes in accordance to a holiday, but today they felt like doing something entirely new. They had wanted to feature their son in one of their videos, but the two couldn’t figure out how they would go about doing it.

 Until now.

 Dan and Phil had discussed the idea of the video after they had found their five year old son “cooking” for them one Sunday morning because he wanted to surprise them with breakfast. Long story short, Phil had made his way to the kitchen with the intent on brewing some coffee, but oh no, he was met with his son who was pouring everything – food from their cupboards as well as their fridge – into one giant mixing bowl. Phil had laughed hysterically while Dan stared in both fondness and horror for their son’s kind gesture, and towards the mess.

 The married couple was still finding stray pieces of cereal around their kitchen, and the counters were still a little sticky, but it didn’t matter. Dil had been so pleased with himself that day, and even more so after his fathers had smiled through the horrid flavor of the mixture and told him he did a job well done.

 Except, they all agreed to let ‘Daddy’ or ‘Papa’ cook the meals from now on.

 Phil had set up several cameras around the kitchen, and had one little vlog camera in his pocket for close-ups, he was nearly finished preparing as he waited for his husband and their son to finish getting ready before they headed off to the grocery store.

 “Dan! Dil!” Phil called through the house, “Are you ready to go?”

 Little putters of feet sounded from down the hall as it approached the kitchen until Dil dashed into the room, nearly sliding across the floor, and beamed. “I’m ready!”

 Phil smiled fondly down at him and lifted him up, letting the boy cling to his waist.

Shortly after, Dan made his way down the hall with the house keys in hand.

“Alright, let’s go!”

 They travelled quickly down to the shop while Dil led the way, marching along with his little black bunny slippers. Both Dan and Phil emitted little laughs when they noticed that little detail until their son turned to them with hopeful eyes.

“Daddy, where’s Susan? Did you bring her?”

The couple always brought a little backpack with them whenever they were out in the town with their son, and of course the pack always contained about 70% of Dil’s belongings, thanks to Dan.

  _(“Just in case, you never know -- no Phil, Dil’s things need to be with us. I’m just being precautious. Don’t worr-- yeah okay, it’s a little heavy.”)_

 Perking up, Dan slid the backpack off his shoulder and unzipped it.

“Yes, I brought Susan along. Here--” he shifted his hands through the pack until he felt the soft plush of the toy and pulled it out with a smile.

 Dil’s eyes widened with a mix of joy and relief on his face as he grabbed the purply-blue plush squid and hugged it against his chest.

 “Thank you, Daddy!”

 Dan just ruffled his dark hair before scooping him up and placed their little boy into a shopping cart.

 The next hour would be filled with questionable things collectively filling up their trolley as Dil pulled food products from shelves without a second thought. Phil vlogged the little adventure with an amused grin on his face as he navigated the cart around the store.

 “So Dil, what’s the next ingredient we need?”

 The basket was already scattered with miscellaneous goods. Cans rolled around while bags of snacks piled up around the little boy. Boxes of pasta and jars of various sauces crowded around small legs. Dil was definitely not holding back.

 “Next we need…” their son was thoughtful for a moment before he broke into a smile with triumph, “a watermelon!” Bluey-green eyes were big and twinkling, and the two parents decided spending an abundant amount of money and wrecking the kitchen was worth it for one video.

 Phil laughed in agreement and then shifted the camera so that it was focused on Dan.

 “What do you think, Dannyboy?”

 The younger man closed his eyes and sighed, “Oh Jesus. Please don’t call me that again – um.” Dan smiled and looked into the lens. “Of course, we need a watermelon. Are you kidding?”

Phil turned the camera around towards himself. “New objective: acquire a watermelon!”

 The little family wheeled through the market as their son pointed to a bag of marshmallows, or towards various types of fruit juice, and then finally to the watermelon that was stored in the fresh fruits and vegetables section. It had taken them a little while since Dil insisted that they needed some ice cream and savory crackers -- and his parents did not object. Though, they did exchange horrified glances when Dil requested that they buy a bulky bag of candy that was nearly the size of the boy.

 They quickly steered away to the healthier section of the store.

 Phil handed the camera to Dan before he made his way to grab the watermelon, however, he was interrupted by Dil’s pleading tone.

 “I want to get it!”

 Phil casted a glance to the camera with raised eyebrows before he set the fruit on the floor.

 “Alright, sorry chef,” Phil apologized. He could hear Dan snickering in the background as Dil was lifted from the cart and onto the ground where he attempted to pick up the fruit.

The two men held back their giggles as they watched their son struggle to pick up the watermelon – he was trying to approach the round fruit from different angles, grabbing it with both arms –  until he decided it was too heavy.

 “Uhh,” Dil turned to look up at his fathers with a sheepish grin, “Nevermind. We can get it next time.”

 Dan couldn’t help but release his goose-cackle of a laugh.

 

\--

 

The family finally arrived home with endless bags of groceries being transported up to their kitchen.  And indeed, the expenses had been high, but it didn’t matter to Dan or Phil. They couldn’t wait to begin filming the actual video. Dil was racing up and down the stairs of their apartment with a bag or two dragging across the floor fueled by his boundless excitement. When Phil had talked to him about making a special “baking” video that involved his own work, Dil had been ecstatic and anticipated the day they planned to film it.

 They placed the food items along the counters, both in front of and behind them to display the scene. Dil was sat among the ingredients with a chef hat Dan had picked up for him a few days prior, and they were nearly ready to start recording.

 More cooking utensils were laid out along the mixing bowls while Phil adjusted the lighting and camera positions before they joined together in front of the tripod.

 “Everyone ready?” Phil asked as he stood in front of the camera. Dan and Dil responded with affirmation, and then they began the video.  

 “Hi guys!” Phil exclaimed animatedly towards the camera. “So today all of us,” he gestured to his family behind him with a smile, “are here with a special ‘baking’ video that might not include any baking at all. Yay!”

 Dan grinned and jumped in with his own input, “But today, we won’t be the ones making the thing. Right. Instead, we have Dil here who is going to be head chef while Phil and I will be the… what’s it called?”

 “Sous chefs!” His husband finished for him with a nod. Dil gave his dads a cheerful little round of applause, the smile on his face displaying his excitement. It was clear that Dil wanted to begin cooking right away.

 “That’s right. Now,” Dan continued as he regarded his gaze to the camera, “we have no clue what we are making today. Chef Dil only knows what to do and how to do it. You might want to take notes.”

 Dan paused for a second, mentally inputting a jump-cut as Phil finished up the intro.

 “Let’s begin! Dil? What are we making today?”

 Dil smiled widely and raised the wooden spoon in his hand as if he were making a commendable declaration.

 “Food!” He proclaimed happily, “Today we are going to make food.”

 he two fathers looked to each other with humour reflected in their eyes and casted their gazes down to their son in amusement.

 “Food?” Dan asked, trying not to giggle. “What kind of food?”

 “Does the food have a name…?” Phil asked curiously as he glanced towards the camera with a funny look.

 “I don’t know.” Dil replied matter-of-factly and started grabbing for the ‘ingredients’ placed all around the counter.

 Dan and Phil waited for their son to clarify what they were about to make, but all that came was silence after his response. The two might have struggled not to laugh by that point.

Right, they were going to make food. It should be simple enough.

 They turned their eyes back to the camera with a look of amused worry directed towards the audience.

\--

 A little while after they began to prepare for Dil’s mysterious meal, the small family was in a fit of laughter as Dan, being the cheeky little shit that he was, decided to smash an egg right onto Phil’s face. His husband made a sound of surprise before he retaliated by scooping up some of the whipped cream they had been using and smeared it across Dan’s face and over his mouth. Phil and Dil laughed harder when Dan squealed in horror, and attempted to wipe it out of his eyes.

 Phil, who was now smirking as he admired his work, placed a chaste kiss on Dan’s lips and smiled sweetly as if he did nothing wrong.

 Dan tried glaring at him, he really did, but he soon just fell into laughter along with his family in delight, ignoring the little blush that crept up his neck.

 “Alright,” Dan said a little out of breath after laughing so hard, though grinning from ear to ear. “Apparently that is a very important step in the cooking process.”

 “Yep!” Dil chimed in as he mixed the whipped cream and jelly he had already put into the bowl. “Your daddy and papa have to wear some of the food too, please.”

 Phil nodded in agreement, “Pro-tip!”

 They erupted into laughter once again.

 

\--

 

“So Chef, how much of the tomato juice are we putting into the mixture?” Phil asked as he watched Dan help their son unscrew the top off of the jug of juice. Dil’s attention fell onto his father as he looked into the camera lens held in Phil’s point of view.

He had the vlog camera out and he was recording close-ups of their cooking adventure, filming what was currently inside the mixing bowl with its contents that looked worse than a witch’s cauldron.

 

“Hmm,” Dil hummed thoughtfully as he started pouring it into the bowl. Dan watched with wide-eyes and mild worry as the red liquid threatened to spill all over the floor. Oh, God.

 

“Like…”

 The boy kept pouring it.

The bowl was nearly filled.

 

“One cup.”

 

 Dan snorted loudly as the camera shook with Phil’s laughter.

 

\--

 

Empty bags of crisps and candy were littered all over their counter-top as the original goods soaked in a blend of tomato juice and jelly, along with a full tub of whipped cream and bits of things they failed to take note of that were being thrown into the main mixing bowl.

 Dil’s clothes were ruined with the ingredients he had used, along with his face that was smeared with splotches of _something_. There was whipped cream drying in Dan’s hair and on his face, his clothes splattered with fruit juices and remnants of egg. Phil was looking about the same as his husband and their son, and he couldn’t be happier.

 

\--

 

“Papa, where’s the spinny thing that looks like a robot?”

 

Phil’s head shot up to look over at Dan with raised eyebrows, giving him a look as if he were speaking to him without words. Dan shook his head firmly _, no that will only end in disaster, oh my God. Please don’t let him._ Phil tilted his head slightly and gave him a pleading, but levelled look, _oh come on it’ll be alright._

Dan glared. Phil smiled.

 “Oh, the electric beater? I’ll get it for you in a moment.” He told his son with a chipper tone and went to retrieve the utensil. As he navigated his way around the kitchen, Phil winked at Dan and subtly gave him a playful slap to his arse. Of course, it was out of the shot and shielded from Dil’s eyes.

His husband flashed him a smile.

 Dan just looked straight into the camera lens and shook his head.

 Once the electric beater was plugged in, Phil handed Dil the tool with quick instruction of how to use it before he turned it on. Dan observed the whole ordeal in silent horror, and hoped the worst would not come. Phil stepped back and crossed his arms over his chest and let their head Chef do his job.

 The beater came to life as its whisks began to spin.

 Then Dil dipped the eggbeater into the bowl.

 Dan screamed.

 “FFFFFF- OHHH MY GOD.”

 

Immediately the contents swirled around over the rim and splashed violently against their clothes with timed succession. The brown liquid had spilled all over the counter, soaking whatever food they didn’t use in a pungent smell of mixed liquid and mushy food. Little bits of candy and soggy remnants of _something_ flew out of the bowl and landed on their attire and faces.

 Dil howled with joyful surprise as he watched the mixture be ripped from the bowl with fascination. Quickly, Phil took the electric beater from his son’s grip as he grimaced down at the new mess.

 “Ooo-kay, that’s enough! Chef, I. Yeah, that’s alright.” Phil said as he took the tool away hurriedly all while feeling deeply amused towards how ridiculous of a mess they were yet to clean up.

Dil was still laughing, amazed at what he had just done. Though, satisfied with his work, he let his father put away the beater.

 Meanwhile, Dan stood as he marveled at the disaster with a hand placed over his heart from the surprise. He looked into the camera again until he dissolved into a high-pitched fit of laughter along with his son.

 

\--

 

 The small family was sat at their dining room table with steaming bowls of Dil’s “food” stew placed in front of them. Their son was eager to taste it with the way he continuously dipped his spoon into the concoction and swirled it around, asking if he could eat it. Phil had told him to wait until he set a single camera in front of their table so that they could show the world how tasty it would be.

Phil hit ‘record’ and sat down with Dan and Dil.

 “Mmm, wow this looks absolutely delicious!” Dan commented as he stared into his bowl with a sense of doom. Oh Jesus, he was going to die.

 He coughed, “Doesn’t it, Phil?”

 “Of course! I can’t wait to try it.” Phil smiled widely with too much enthusiasm. He was dreading this too.

 Dil threw his arms up into the air, “Let’s eat!”

 And with that, the three of them simultaneously dipped their spoons into their bowls and had a taste of their son’s home-cooked meal.

 Once the ‘stew’ had reached Dan’s taste buds, he almost gagged. He inhaled sharply through his noise to the reaction of the taste – strong, confusing, and disgusting – Dan wanted nothing more to spit it out, but he endured the first bite with an extremely forced smile.

 “Wow it’s…” Phil coughed and took a sip of water. “It’s great! It’s very… aromatic and strong to the senses and-“ he paused to reach inside his mouth and presented the camera with a bit of eggshell.

 Phil smiled tightly, “Look at that, you’ve used all parts of the egg. Very well done, Dil.”

 Dan huffed out a laugh through his nose and nodded in agreement, his own tight smile on his face.

 “Yes, I agree. It’s hearty and…” he scooped up a bit of the contents with his spoon and let it drop back into the sludgy mess with a plop, “very thick. A perfect meal to eat on cold wintery days.”

Dan suppressed a giggle before he concluded the video, “And that’s how you make a perfect ‘food’ stew, a recipe by our very own Dil Howlter.”

 The married couple gave their son a little round of applause, causing the little boy to smile widely. He was still eating the ‘stew’ and neither Dan nor Phil knew how he was able to stomach it.

 “If you followed those simple steps _exactly_ and took notes, you might cook just as well and be able to create an amazing outcome.” Dan nodded reassuringly for the audience, though he knew he was giving them a look of dread as well.

 “Thanks for watching!” Dil exclaimed with a mouthful of food as he waved a sticky hand toward the camera. The stew made the two of them cringe, but they just smiled at Dil fondly and waved to the camera as well.

 “Bye!”

 

 And like that, the video was a wrap. Phil would be editing it later.

When the older man sat back down from switching off the camera, Dan gave his husband a soft look, and Phil knew what that look meant for he had seen it many times before. Most memorably on the day when Dan, merely a teenager at the time, told him he loved him.

Phil smiled back just the same.

Two pairs of blue and brown eyes fell onto the small boy who was sat in the middle between them.

And they marveled in happy silence towards the fact that Dil was their child they could call their own and share their happiness with.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you enjoyed!  
> Comment and tell me what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://beefarroni.tumblr.com/)


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